Is Self-focus Killing You Too?
The worst thing I have ever done in my life is spent hours and days and weeks thinking about myself.
Do I look good?
Do people like me?
Am I good enough?
Will I be successful?
Am I skinny enough?
Am I smart?
Am I fucked?
Did I already ruin my life?
The truth is—nobody, probably not even me, gives a fuck about me.
That sounds harsh. Especially the part about me not giving a fuck about myself. But we’ve all been there—wanting someone else’s approval more than any self-love we’re capable of mustering.
The world is selfish in a strange way.
It rewards people who offer themselves to it.
Who bleed to create something meaningful— art, business, a laugh, a moment of warmth.
Our subconscious is excellent at self-preservation.
That’s why we don’t jump off cliffs.
Why our heart pounds when we stand at the edge before skiing down.
Why our body punishes us after nights of binge drinking. We are designed to live, not die.
We should spend a very little amount of time in the day conciously thinking about ourselves - we should be thinking about the world around us, the people around us, what is happening, what is pulling us naturally.
I have learnt that all mental struggles from over-indexing on self and almost every religion and philopshy pushes us to rise above the me.
I’ve learned that most mental suffering comes from over-indexing on the self. Almost every religion, every philosophy, asks us to rise above the me.
I used to think they were against desire.
Against wanting more—the very force that builds the world.
But NO.
Desire doesn’t need thought.
It announces itself. Fear does too.
Restraint requires thought. Courage requires thought—when fear overwhelms desire.
But fear and desire themselves? They’re as natural as my heart beating. As breathing.
Thinking about oneself can get so pathetic that we’d rather doom-scroll than sit with it. We flee ourselves into fucking TikTok videos.
Our subconscious was designed to play with the world.
Meditation and psychedelics might help you explore yourself. That journey into the cave can be sacred. But that’s different from worrying about yourself. From obsessing.
I honestly believe obsession with the self is the root of most unhappiness.
The world wasn’t designed for rumination.
It was designed for play.
Get out of your head.
And go play.
